Updated: Oct 28, 2022
My toddler put his little hand between my phone and my eyes - blocking my view.
Now THAT got my attention. 😟
I looked up - how long had he been trying to tell me something, show me something? And I had been engrossed in something else.
I actually don’t even remember what I was “looking up” or scrolling through or what “crisis” or email I was replying to. I’m sure it FELT important when I started doing it.
But when his little hand cut into my view - cut into my ATTENTION - THAT was a wake up call.
🎯 Sometimes, we actually don’t need more time - we just need to take the time to NOTICE what is already there. 🎯
There’s always “one more thing” that I could do….make better…keep working on...you know the feeling.
And this mindset prevents me from:
1. Actually STOPPING work physically (closing the laptop). ❌
2.Actually STOPPING work mentally (stop thinking about work).❌
And what it’s really doing is impeding my ability to #bepresent with my family.
Work is bleeding into those times that I KNOW I want to actually be a part of at home.
It’s impeding that connection I want to build and maintain with my kiddos (who are literally growing up under my nose). It is degrading that connection with my partner.
I don’t want to look back and not remember these years and realize it’s all passed like a blur as I’m speeding along a highway. What kind of life would that be?
❤️ I want to be able to remember and smile at the small precious moments, not just the hard ones. ❤️
Your days string together to create your life, so take NOTICE and take CARE of the days.
Here is 1 way I’ve found to help me be more present with my family in the evening.
(And it’s helping my clients - I literally just helped someone create their own yesterday!)
🌟 Create and implement a Transition Plan 🌟
Our bodies and brains need a moment to re-center and yes, actually transition. And frankly, to PREPARE for what is to come. Sometimes, the loudness of kids excitement, bad days at school, the cries of our babies.
We need to put ourselves in the BEST possible place to handle all that is to come. And also be able to enjoy what we can.
This is NOT a one and done thing - your body and your brain need PRACTICE - repetition over time.
Try this next week (for just 1 week) and see how it impacts your ability to be present with those that matter most. And listen, this is super practical. I’m no Yogi, and it has even worked for me. 😁
Step 1: Create an agreement with yourself (boundary) when you are going to stop working for the day
✔️ I’ve done great work today (even write down some WINS!)
✔️ It all doesn’t have to get done today (I’m going to die with a to-do list)
✔️ I will be able to pick up where I left off
✔️ I am now transitioning to those other REALLY important things in my life, those things that bring me connection, fulfillment, joy
Step 2: Decide what your “transition” point or place is
⚡️ I no longer have my commute (and car) as my transition, so I spent a few minutes in my bedroom before the rush to pick up the kids start.
⚡️ My client yesterday decided on a parking lot down the street (between her work location and home - she knew once she actually GOT home it would be a lost cause).
Step 3: Decide who you want to show up AS on the other side of that transition point
I am showing up as:
❤️ The mom who is fun and playful with her kids
❤️ The spouse who demonstrates caring my actually listing to how my partner’s day was
❤️ The woman who balances getting stuff done with taking the time to enjoy the family moments of the everyday
Step 4: Write, read, or repeat outloud who you want to show up as. Do this as many times as it takes until you FEEL your body and your brain transition.
You can even start with a 3 or 5 minute timer (YES even just that small amount of time can make a HUGE difference - it just gives a little space to allow for an effective transition).
🤜 A previous last client posted her “show ups” on a sticky note at her doorway to read
🤜 When I’m having trouble I open Insight Timer and find a short guided meditation (just to have something to focus on)