Decisions stress me out...many of them...just in general.
Big decisions...where to go to college, do I buy that house, when do we start trying to have a baby❓❓
Small decisions....the chocolate or cherry truffle (always pick chocolate by the way 😋), cardio or weights today, the maroon sweater or the navy one❓
But fewer decisions have stressed me out MORE than ones having to do with the care of my children.
And I made one in that arena this week. We decided to pull my youngest out of daycare / preschool and revert back to our covid-era solution where he just goes next door (to Ms. Terri) for care with 1 other child.
❓Will he still learn enough to be prepared for kindergarten?
❓Will he develop the "social" skills to get along with other kids with only 1 other kid there?
❓Will this option really keep him (and thus all of us) from getting sick as much (the primary reason we decided to consider this in the first place)?
❓Will this change be hard on him? (I know the answer to this one as he's actually been asking to not go to daycare for awhile).
❓Am I just being selfish because this is the easier logistical option for me?
All of these questions rolling up and down and through my mind this past week, diverting my attention, and popping up almost every free moment I had to think or rest.
💥 I've realized what stresses me out about decisions is this: I'm always looking for the "BEST" one.💥
As an engineer I was taught there was an “optimal” answer….who else remembers anything from deterministic optimization class?? All I remember is that there IS an optimal answer. And there was a logical way to find it. ✔️
But what I'm learning is that life decisions just don't work well that way.
What I'm learning is that "BEST" is actually arbitrary. And it's actually MORE important is that you feel GOOD about the decision. 🎯
When you feel good about a decision, you often do feel it was the best one...with the information you currently have.
You feel GOOD about a decision when perhaps it doesn't have more in the "pro" side of your list but it aligns more strongly with your priorities in this season of your life.
⚡️You feel GOOD about a decision when convince yourself it's a good one. ⚡️
One of my past mentor's favorite quotes was "Perfect is the enemy of good".
The fact is you will NEVER actually know if any decision was the "best" decision. It's not you have an "experiment" and "control" life where you can live out two scenarios at one time and then compare the results.
So, what if we just decided we were going to stop looking for the best, and just start helping ourselves build confidence that we made a "good" decision? 🤔
So, if you sometimes struggle with decisions, try this (instead of making a pro/con list):
✅ Decide what your primary value is you are making the decision around (in THIS season of your life - knowing seasons change...)
✅ Decide what option most closely aligns with this value/criteria.
✅ Write down ALL the reasons THIS option is GOOD. ALL of them.
I know it's tempting at this point to ask everyone else (mom's groups, friends, colleagues) about what you should do...but only YOU know what your values are...so it's fine to take input, but in the end of the day, YOU are the one that needs to feel good about the decision....not them.
Build your OWN confidence that your decision is GOOD, and you will feel GOOD about it. 💓
Struggling over a decision (big or small)? Book a call with me and I can help you through it.