...and what YOU can do about it. 🙌
No time to read, no problem! Listen/ watch here.
When my kids were born, vacations became “trips”, not really super relaxing. It was like just a different type of stress.🤦
How many of you are gearing up for "spring break" right now??
But each year, I reflect and I learn. Because I WANT that type of vacation back that is fun and renewing and relaxing and a connection point with the ones I love most.✨
🎯 And the most distinct difference in the last couple of years has been my ability to disconnect. Disconnect from not only work but almost from the world. 🎯
I wrap myself in this cocoon of simplicity where there just isn’t a lot of decisions to make or “worry”. Which frees my mind to focus on recognizing (looking for) and creating those “memories” that we all want, especially from vacations. 💫
And I know “disconnecting” is hard. I recently talked a client through this for her. I believe disconnecting EACH DAY is important, and in some ways disconnecting from work on vacation is actually easier each day.
But here are what I’ve found as the top 3 reasons women don’t disconnect on vacation (and what YOU can do about it).➡️➡️➡️
Reason One: ⚡️We don’t actually believe in the value of disconnecting (for us personally), and we constantly let ourselves be reminded of work.⚡️
I was working with a client recently who's goal was to "disconnect" more on their upcoming vacation. I asked her "Why do you want to disconnect?"
"Because I see others doing it and it seems to be good for them".
Sure - people come back and seem to rave about it..about not picking up your work phone or email or handling work tasks. BUT if you've never done it, you don't actually HAVE this as evidence for yourself of its value to your own life and well-being. 🎯
So what do YOU think the benefits are to you and your family? Where do you even had a sliver of this experience or feeling before?
What do you see people acting like when they come back from a rejuvenating vacation? Do they seem happier? More energized? With better ideas?
Do YOU come back better connected to YOURSELF from vacation? Or better connected to your partner or kids? If you don't see the value, it's going to be hard to change.
I encourage you to think about what "disconnecting" looks like for you specifically. Because for some, this is making an agreement with yourself (i.e. boundary) to only check email once a day to make sure there are no "fires" to put out...and THAT might be a huge leap.
But for others, it might be taking the entire email app OFF your phone and not checking it at all (because you will get a call for anything urgent: see reason #3)
🤜 But whatever you choose, make sure you set yourself up for success by turning off notifications when you don't want to be getting them. Notifications interrupt the flow of presence and whatever you happen to be doing (or not doing) at the moment.
So curb that urge to "just check" when you have a free moment. Because it's not "free", it's meant to be used on you. Even if this means being a little bored. I mean, isn't that why we take vacations in the first place - to NOT DO some things?
Reason Two: ⚡️We worry our reputation is going to suffer. ⚡️
We want to be “responsive”, “responsible”, “committed”, “available”. We've worked really hard to get to the point we are at.
But let me ask you this - are THOSE the main reasons why you are successful in your role? Is being ALWAYS available the main reason you were hired? And would you expect that of one of your staff or colleagues?
I bet you were hired for the thoughtful way you respond to challenges, the innovative ideas you bring to the table.
🌟 Make a list of the reasons you ARE valuable, and I bet very few of them will have to do with “immediately responding or responding while on vacation”. 🌟
WHAT IF your reputation could actually get stronger for “disconnecting” on vacation? What if you stopped being the hypocrite and actually was THE EXAMPLE for those around you.
Reason Three: ⚡️There is no back up plan, clear expectations, or re-entry plan.⚡️
You might literally be the only one who can do something. Or it actually makes you FEEL important to be IN all the conversations.
So how can you use this opportunity to coach up another team member? That doesn’t make you a weaker leader or colleague, it makes you a stronger one because you are helping to create sustainable SYSTEMS.
First, make a list of what “could” happen while you were gone that would legitimately need your immediate attention. And then, create clear expectations and a plan ahead of time.
Example: “Hey team, I will be away next week and not checking email. Katy will be handling X and Y. And if something like Z were to happen, please call my cell and leave a message (or have Katy be your gatekeeper and give her the power to escalate only if necessary).
💥 And you can leave this expectation very clearly on your away message or voicemail.💥
And lastly, you will be able to disconnect with more ease if you have a re-entry plan for when you return. See all of my tips for that in my previous newsletter here.
So..what reason resonated with you the most❓❓❓
And what will YOU do this vacation to come back re-centered and rejuvenated?😎
If you need help deciding how to disconnect (without feeling "bad" about it), let's chat!